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Writer's pictureTanika Finney

Awakened Planning: How to Talk About Estate Planning at Your Family Reunion

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July is National Family Reunion Month, a wonderful occasion to reconnect with relatives near and far, share life updates, and reminisce about cherished memories. As you gather with your family this month, it presents a perfect opportunity to engage in meaningful conversations about your shared goals, family resources, and the legacy you wish to leave for future generations.

Although estate planning may initially seem like a somber topic for a joyous family reunion, it can actually bring you closer to your loved ones by providing everyone with the opportunity to openly express their wishes for the family. Moreover, it can foster a sense of unity as you work together toward the future well-being of your family.

Uncertain about how to broach the subject of estate planning in a way that empowers your family members? Continue reading to discover effective strategies for navigating this conversation without deterring party guests.

Extend an Invitation to the Conversation in Advance

Nobody wants to be the party guest who monopolizes the conversation with distressing news or personal troubles. While it's important to share both positive and negative aspects of our lives with loved ones, introducing a solemn topic during a festive gathering is likely to dampen the mood and alienate other guests.

Instead of bringing up estate planning spontaneously at your reunion, reach out to your relatives ahead of time and express your desire to allocate a specific time during the event to discuss your family's legacy and how you can collectively ensure each other's well-being in the future. Everyone appreciates feeling cared for and knowing that their input in family matters is valued. Consequently, it's opportune to raise the topic in a natural manner by referring to any ongoing concerns within the family, such as an aging relative's declining memory or your upcoming knee surgery.

If someone exhibits resistance towards discussing estate planning, avoid pushing them. Instead, maintain a warm and empathetic demeanor, and keep the invitation open for discussion, in case they have a change of heart.

Be Vulnerable and Explain the Importance of Estate Planning to You

Reassure everyone that the purpose of the conversation is to safeguard the family's future security and well-being, regardless of what circumstances arise. Emphasize that the intention is not to pry into anyone's finances, health, or relationships. Rather, it's about ensuring that everyone's wishes are clearly understood and respected. It's important to dispel any notion that the conversation revolves around the amount of money individuals may inherit.

Moreover, convey to your family that engaging in these discussions now serves as a proactive measure to prevent future conflicts and expenses. When family members lack a comprehensive understanding of each other's planning choices, it often leads to conflicts, resentment, and even costly legal battles down the line.

Position the conversation as an opportunity to commence an ongoing dialogue about estate planning, focusing on the future health and well-being of your family. By adopting this approach, your relatives will feel more at ease, and some may even be eager to actively participate in the discussion. If you haven't yet addressed your own estate planning, now is an ideal time to start. You can share your personal experience and explain how managing your own estate planning has prompted deeper reflection on what truly matters to you, how you envision the remainder of your life, and your desire to involve your entire family in this process.

Set a Designated Time and Location for the Conversation

Instead of searching for the right moment to introduce the topic, establish a specific time and location with your family prior to the reunion. Ensure that you schedule a precise time, while also maintaining a casual and inviting tone. For instance, proposing a gathering around the fire pit at 6:00 pm or a casual coffee meeting at your house at 9:00 am would be perfect.

I also recommend setting a predetermined end time for the discussion. This way, your loved ones will know what to expect and won't feel concerned that the conversation will consume too much of their time. Establishing boundaries for the discussion will also motivate family members to actively participate and stay on topic.

To facilitate the conversation, come prepared with a concise list of the most important points you wish to cover, and encourage your family members to do the same. However, keep the list short to ensure it aligns with the time allotted for the discussion. If there are too many topics to cover within the designated time frame, that's perfectly fine. Focus on the most critical subjects and agree as a family to reconvene on a specific date, either in person, via phone, or through video chat, to further explore any remaining details.

Emphasize Your Family's Legacy

When discussing estate planning with your loved ones, remember to emphasize your family's legacy and your desire to pass on the collective stories, memories, values, and lessons to future generations and beyond. A family reunion provides an ideal opportunity to come together, and estate planning can serve as a powerful tool for preserving your family's most significant assets—your human assets.

Your family possesses generations of stories, traditions, and triumphs that deserve protection and celebration. Convey to your family that estate planning extends beyond preparations for death—it encompasses proactive measures to ensure a fulfilling life, knowing that everything and everyone you love will be taken care of in the event of illness or death.

For my clients, estate planning also presents a unique opportunity to capture their most cherished memories and stories through a process known as the Family Wealth Legacy Interview. During this interview, I assist my clients in documenting the aspects that hold the utmost significance to them—things that far outweigh monetary value.

Imagine the preciousness of being able to share and relive these recordings of our loved ones during future family reunions for generations to come.

If you require further guidance on discussing estate planning with your family or are interested in embarking on your own estate planning journey to ensure your family's well-being and share your personal planning experience with your loved ones, please don't hesitate to reach out. As your Personal Family Lawyer®, it is my passion to guide you through every stage of planning your life and legacy. When an entire family unites around their estate planning goals, love, and happiness are sure to follow.  Want to connect with me, visit the Connect Page!

This article is a service provided by Law Office of Tanika L. Finney, a Personal Family Lawyer® Firm. We go beyond document drafting by ensuring that you make informed and empowered decisions regarding life and death, for yourself and your loved ones. That's why we offer a Peace of Mind Planning Session, during which you will gain unparalleled financial organization and make the best choices for the people you cherish. To begin, kindly contact our office today to schedule a Peace of Mind Planning Session.

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